today’s happy place

September 21st, 2010

7 things I did right with Emmet Labs

May 28th, 2010

Every startup is a team effort, and that team can steer the company in a good direction or bad. Success and failure is a collective experience, and no one person can take credit for any of it.

Nonetheless, starting a company is also a very intense personal trial for the Entrepreneur—the person who lives and breathes it. I was the entrepreneur behind EmmetLabs.com, a company I founded in 2007. A year ago we laid off the staff and though the site is still out there, I feel that it’s time to take a look back at that personal experience. Here are some of the things I feel good about:

1. I aimed high.
I wanted to change the world. Emmet was something new and brilliant and never before done. For the right personality type, creating this network of the past is an addictive consumer activity—even after a year of inattention, we have users making literally hundreds of edits every week.

2. I had a clear product vision.
I knew what I wanted Emmet to be at its core, and we built that. And I was right—it’s very cool. The idea came to me fully formed at the TED conference three years ago; I ran back to my hotel room and wireframed the key interfaces. A few months later, I had a prototype built by Pivotal, and it was everything I wanted it to be.

3. I worked my network.
My professional network isn’t the biggest in the valley, but I have great relationships and I included all of them to make Emmet happen. I attracted fantastic investors and advisors, and made many new colleagues and friends. Every week I sent emails,  talked to people, had coffees and lunches. At every meeting and social outing I learned something — either about business, about Emmet, or about myself as an entrepreneur and leader. I had the courage to ask for whatever I happened to need at the time, and usually I got at least some portion of it.

4. I accepted help.
You’d be surprised how supportive the early-stage-startup community can be. I was offered (and accepted) office space, countless lunches, recruiting help, design services, consulting, etc, etc…and all of this came without a price tag. One of the best skills an entrepreneur can have is knowing how to get something for nothing. I pay it forward whenever I can.

5. I didn’t let anything stop me.
Sometimes things happen that are completely out of your control, and they make your job just that much harder. I get that. But this was over the top:

Really, Fate? Is that all you have to throw at me?

Really, Fate? Is that all you have to throw at me?

In 18 months, I was clobbered by a prolonged and mysterious illness, my dad died, my brother killed himself, the world economy exploded, and the funding window closed.

At one point a few months after my brother’s suicide, I was sitting alone in my glass-walled office. The sliding door was open and I looked up as Freada Klein walked by. My face must have shown the grief, because she stopped and asked if I was alright. The only thing I could say was “I don’t know how I’ll ever get past this.” It was a raw an honest moment.

Nonetheless, I persevered. I had lots of help from my husband and son, the Kapor/Kleins, and so many others. Perhaps continuing with the venture wasn’t right or necessary, but it’s just what you do, especially when you’ve taken people’s money and hired a staff. You don’t quit just because it’s hard—you keep going.

6. I turned down a bad term sheet.
As luck would have it, I was preparing to go out for series A in late 2008. The timing couldn’t have been worse. The world was melting down, the credit markets had seized up. I did a few exploratory meetings with investors in December, and by the first of January I had concluded that the window was closed tight.

The timing of our funding rounds couldn't have been worse.

The timing of our funding rounds couldn't have been worse.

Just then, during the first weeks of January 2009, in the worst possible economy, comes a Term Sheet! Unfortunately, it was a bad one. A really, really bad one that would have screwed all of my angels, changed control of the company, and still left us under-capitalized.

I’ve done bad deals before, and I believe this one would have meant a slow, acrimonious death march for the company and all participants therein. I had no idea what we were going to do as the money ran out, but this deal wasn’t the way forward.  I said No.

7. I turned down good money for the right reason.
With the funding window closed, we were either going to have to pull a rabbit out of our hat, or wind down the company. So I met with the investors, and to my great relief, one offered to give us a bit more capital. “I want to be helpful,” he said, and I liked that kind of help.

I could have taken the money, and initially I said Yes. But you don’t take money unless it will get you somewhere important. His contribution wouldn’t have changed the outcome, just delayed it. I called him the next day and told him not to make the wire transfer. It was the right thing to do, and that matters to me.

Bottom line — I’m very proud of Emmet, and I’m proud of what we accomplished as a team. Without ongoing financial support, it’s not taking the world by storm. But it’s still there chugging along, and it’s still very cool.

Aeschylus

March 10th, 2010

Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.

All religions believe this. Or should.

November 13th, 2009

The world’s religious leaders came together this year to make a joint statement about what is common across all of them.

Their statement is the best (first? only?) representation of the collective values of the world’s population that I’ve seen. It’s a call to action and a statement of purpose. I commit myself to strive to live up to these as if they were commandments.

It’s called the Charter for Compassion:

The principle of compassion lies at the heart of all religious, ethical and spiritual traditions, calling us always to treat all others as we wish to be treated ourselves. Compassion impels us to work tirelessly to alleviate the suffering of our fellow creatures, to dethrone ourselves from the centre of our world and put another there, and to honour the inviolable sanctity of every single human being, treating everybody, without exception, with absolute justice, equity and respect.

It is also necessary in both public and private life to refrain consistently and empathically from inflicting pain. To act or speak violently out of spite, chauvinism, or self-interest, to impoverish, exploit or deny basic rights to anybody, and to incite hatred by denigrating others—even our enemies—is a denial of our common humanity. We acknowledge that we have failed to live compassionately and that some have even increased the sum of human misery in the name of religion.

We therefore call upon all men and women ~

  • to restore compassion to the centre of morality and religion
  • to return to the ancient principle that any interpretation of scripture that breeds violence, hatred or disdain is illegitimate
  • to ensure that youth are given accurate and respectful information about other traditions, religions and cultures
  • to encourage a positive appreciation of cultural and religious diversity
  • to cultivate an informed empathy with the suffering of all human beings—even those regarded as enemies.

We urgently need to make compassion a clear, luminous and dynamic force in our polarized world. Rooted in a principled determination to transcend selfishness, compassion can break down political, dogmatic, ideological and religious boundaries. Born of our deep interdependence, compassion is essential to human relationships and to a fulfilled humanity. It is the path to enlightenment, and indispensible to the creation of a just economy and a peaceful global community.

Pavlov explains *everything*

September 11th, 2009

I made this early in the year, when I was working to figure out why I do things that mess up relationships — why I didn’t want to see my dad at the end of his life, why I don’t call mom & friends enough, why my first marriage ended, why I sometimes recoil from certain kinds of commitment and need. If I can make my rational brain understand, perhaps I can override the poor conditioning.

[Update, 9/15/9: I considered calling this diagram "how crazy people fucked me up", or "okay, bitches, you owe me for all of that therapy, cuz it's your goddam fault!" but thought those might be a little too on-point.]

intermittent_reinforcement_sml